Rosario came home from work in need of Spiritual Guidance. She came into her room, dropped her backpack on the bed and set out about the summoning. She lit the middle candle of her altar, inviting the all mother, Satan, to watch over her proceedings. Just in case.
Rosario liked to think of herself as the successor to her aunt Tía Nana, who wasn’t really her aunt but had helped raise her mother. No one else in her direct family was particularly spiritual, though she was sure some of them had gone to Tía Nana, the family Santera, for advice or workings, they would never admit to it.
There was one difference between her and her aunt though. Rosario didn’t practice Santeria, she didn’t know the first thing about it. What she practised didn’t have a name, chaos magic, maybe, but she loathed most chaos magicians she encountered. She’d cobbled together a practice out of random books she’d read, the internet, her other spiritual friends. And this practice had become super charged when she actually took the plunge and summoned her first demon.
She was calling to him now, with their usual, daily ritual:
She took a tiny strip of cardboard, two centimetres high by 7 long. In it she drew a sigil, the calling sign of her demon Plazhol. She rolled the cardboard into a tiny cylinder. Tight but with plenty of space for air to flow through. She picked the dried herbs from their tiny ceramic pots. Taking from the green and the purple, dried flowers. Delicately grinding them in a special herb grinder, etched with the symbols of her practice.
She took the ground herbs and spread them on a small sheet of wax paper, together with the little cardboard “filter” she’d rolled earlier. And started rolling the wax paper around the herbs, as she did she said her incantation.
“How do you feel about a lavender joint today, Plaz?”
And as she finished rolling the joint. Plaz materialised next to her on her bed. He had the appearance of a young tan man. Light hair that looked bleached. Piercings on his eyebrows. Donning a sort of worn green jacket over a black t-shirt.
“Sounds fresh” he said, rubbing his hands.
He took the joint from her hands and lit it with a flame he sprout from his finger. He took a puff.
“Damn, that’s good shit.”
“Strong, too, what’d you say was in this?”
“Lavender” She replied. “a little bit of mint and then a new strain of indica my dealer got. I haven’t even tried it yet.”
“Well be my guest” the demon said handing the lit joint back to her. She took a couple puffs before handing it back.
“So, how’s it going today? You need something from me?” Plaz asked her.
“Damn, I was hoping this was going to be just a social call, what is it?”
“I met someone”
“Rosy” he said somewhat disapprovingly.
“It’s different this time!”
“That’s what you said last time”
“Well, so what I can’t date people?”
“You can absolutely date people, but usually, when you tell me, you met someone, you’re not about to date them, you’ve already fucked them and then something has gone awry.”
“Well not this time, we haven’t had sex at all.”
“We only kissed”
“And like touched and cuddled”
“but with clothes on”
“So what’s so different about this person?”
Rosario thought about this for a second.
“Well fae is–”
“Hold on, Hold ON!” Plaz interrupted her.
“They’re a faerie?!” He asked, alarmed.
“No fae just–”
“Listen to me Rosario and listen to me closely, do not fuck with faeries, literally or figuratively”
“I’m a demon and I don’t even fuck with faeries, they freak me out. Their fingers, oh god those fingers”
“Those are just faer pronouns, fae’s human, I mean I’m pretty sure fae’s human.”
“Some people use fae and faer as pronouns, it’s a type of neo-pronouns, we’ve talked about these.”
He sat down on the bed.
“Thank Satan.” he said, he took a puff of the joint.
“It’s cashed.” He said.
“I’ll roll another one.”
He sprawled on her bed.
“That fucked me up.”
“You’re such a lightweight.”
“well, I’m sorry milady, I’m not exactly the demon lord of drugs.”
“What are you the demon of.”
“A different addiction, but it’s a secret.”
“It’s gaming isn’t it? You’re a gamer demon”
“I will never tell.”
“How old are you? You’re always saying you’re pretty young.”
“In demon terms, in human terms I’m ancient. You could not comprehend how long my life has been.”
“I was old when your pyramids were young.”
“You mean the pyramids at Giza? In Egypt.”
“you know there are other pyramids.”
“yeah? huh, the more you know.”
“And that’s only 5000 years, that’s not that much. But I don’t even believe you.”
“Listen didn’t you have something you wanted to ask me?”
“Now I’m not sure, I thought I was talking to a font of ancient forbidden wisdom, but if you’re from like 300 years ago, I’m not sure you’re the right person.”
“Well who else you gonna ask?” He said with a smirk.
“And I’m not 300 years old.”
“I’m much older, aeons older I’ve seen civiliz–”
She plopped on the bed next to him, lit joint number 2.
“I made this one a little lighter for your sake.” she said, handing him the lit doobie.
“I just. Want this to go well, you know?”
“And fae’s so cool. Fae’s in a band!”
“You’re not exactly boring you know, Rosario?”
“Yeah, but fae’s cool type of cool, I’m the weird type of cool.”
“Well, what if that’s what fae’s into.”
“You’d be surprised. I’ve laid with many humans, of all genders, shapes, and sizes. And the number of times I’ve told them I’m a demon, only for them to say shit like ‘oooh, can I see your real form, ooh I bet it’s grotesque.’ humans are freaky.”
“And, did you show them?”
“Only sometimes. It gets old. Fetishy.” He grimaced.
“Damn, I’m sorry.”
“I happen to like my human form, it’s why I picked it. ”
“I like it too.”
“so is that it, you just need an ego boost?”
“No it’s not that. It’s, well how long have we known each other. You and I”
“you tell me, as you know your human years are like seconds to m–”
“Ok, ok. Well, I think it’s been at least 2 years. Like today’s March, so yeah, 2 years. And how many girls and enbies have you seen me date in that time.”
“At least a dozen.”
“And it never lasts, what is it about me that wrecks relationships?”
“Well there was that girl, you broke up with her over her, music taste?”
“Right, Camila, she was too into dad rock, I couldn’t be in the car with her.”
“And that person who you said their poetry was mediocre.”
“That was mutual, they didn’t care for my papier mache recreations of n-dimensional topological objects.”
“Well don’t you think you need to adjust your standards a little bit. And maybe take it slower. Get to know a person before you decide to date them, and move in with them, and get a cat.”
“That only happened once and we were together 6 months, which is a record.”
“Also, aren’t you dating someone right now?”
“yes, Mildie, but we’re polyamorous and currently long distance. She’s in Florida.”
“And what’s this new person’s name.”
“Faer name is Brenta, Fae goes by Bren.”
“Bren, huh?” He said, looking at the ceiling.
“Well tell you what. How bout. How bout I meet this Bren, maybe I can advice you better then.”
“I don’t know.”
“Come on, we don’t have to tell… faem?”
“We don’t have to tell faer what I am. I can just be your friend from out of town.”
“You’re not proposing a Cyrano de Bergerac situation, are you?”
“A whom what now?”
“So it’s settled.” He said
“When do you see faer again?”
“Fae invited me to faer show next weekend.”
“Very well. I will see you then. Thanks for the smoke. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have souls to pester, I mean torture.”
He tried to stand up off the bed, stumbled and fell back on the bed.
“Or maybe not, maybe I wait a minute.”
“Haha. Lightweight.” She goaded.
“You wanna watch some TV.”
She pulled an episode of Seinfeld on her computer and cast it to the TV.
“This one’s really funny. It’s the one where George tries to name this couple’s baby.”
To be continued…
Read on! Chapter 2